Subject : DAYS OF OUR LIVES #48
Date : Fri, 1 Feb 2002 10:07:10 -0600


Newly found VET'S

CONDRY, Ralph, Pharmacist, Det 27, 66-67, Plano, TX., I talked with Ralph's daughter, Tammy, on the 30th of January. She told me that her father has been in the hospital since November 2001 and that he will be placed on the hospice program shortly. Let's all take a moment and say a prayer for a former ASA'er at Manzarali Station. I'm certain that RALPH CONDRY would appreciate a line or two of encouragement and prayer from those who knew him or others who just want to drop him a few words to boost his morale. With that said, I say" "GOD BLESS YOU RALPH CONDRY!"

GAY, Steve, 98C, Det 4-4, 70-71, I found him on the FS Augsburg list. Steve was #84 on the Det 4-4 1970 football team. Tried to send him a welcome letter, but his mailbox is FULL.

GORETSKY, Allan Rausen, CPT (Dr) Det 27, 66-67, Silver Lake Re-hab center in Staten Island, NY. He is 65, a diabetic and cannot walk. His wife, Carol, died in November 2001 after suffering a stroke. They have two sons, and one is a Doctor. This information is from Dr. Goretsky's sister, Karen, who lives in Boston, MA. She will relay the information that I gave her along with my phone number and e-mail address and if he is interested, he will contact me. I told her to mention Garland Gibbs name to him.

LAMPE, John, 05H, Det 27, 62-63, Oxford, PA 717-529-6711, I was able to locate him from information that came from Moscow - Dan Drachman.

RANDALL, John, 05H, Det 27, 44806 21st St., Osage, MN., 218-573-3410, Bob Rudge from Auburn, WA gave the clues and that "Kid" Jorgensen called John and had a rousing good conversation! More later.

ROSICK, Ted, 05H/05K, Det 27, 61-62, (Irene), 8 Mohawk Dr., Clinton, CT 06413, 860-664-9239, . Penelope Teschler provided the clues to find Ted Rosick. Ted informs that he, at one time, was in charge of the Non-Morse section on his Trick.

THOMAN, Adrian, 05K Trick Chief, Det 4-4, 70-71 (Diane), 224 Dearborn Rd., North, SC 29112, 803-874-4254, . Adrian informs that he spent 9.5 years with the ASA, then got out, but returned to active duty in the Regular Army as a Recruiter and then on to another MOS. He retired from the US Army in 1985 and would like to hear from anyone who knew him at Karamursel.


From: Town of Goodwell, OKLAHOMA


I do not know the complete story, but you are correct about Neas being killed in an accident. I was told it was in a crash between Goodwell and Guymon. I hope this information helps. Thanks, Justin Carnagey, Chief of Police


Did y'all know that:

1. The U-2's codename was Green Hornet! and that the flights originated at Incirlik AFB in Adana. Does any 05H remember copying the Soviet Radar Stations that were tracking the U-2 overflights?

2. I cannot promise to type the right words, but try to be fairly blunt!

3. U shud treat today as if U won't exist tomorrow?

4. U shudn't believe all U hear or read!

5. Life is like a piano......What U get out of it, depends on how U play it!

6. Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory!

7. I can't light a fire under anyone and its not that I have no matches or spark!

8. No matter what my past may have been, my future is spotless!

9. U shudn't let a little dispute injure a great friendship!

10. Don't try so hard, the best things come when U least expect them to!

11. I shudn't waste my time on a vet who isn't willing to share a moment of their time on me! Shud I?

12. To err is human, to give divine!

13. Smile when answering the phone, the caller will hear it in your voice!

14. I don't know how to link up and get BIO results! Is there a special button to push or shud I consider looking for alternative approaches? For some reason I'm running into a inevitable brick wall and can't jump over it! Maybe I don't have enuf oomph to be a wannabe editor!

15. The 61-62 vet's are getting their act together better than the others!

16. Maybe I don't have the gift of gab to inspire anyone?

17. My vast database is embedded with photo's up the ying-yang!

18. I'm trying to think of a name for the "Memory Book". Any suggestions?

19. Sometimes I use jokes and political items to fill in the missives.

20. Sooner or later we must realize there is no station, no one place to arrive at once and for all - The true joy of life is the trip. by Robt J. Hastings, 1924-97, "The Station."


From: Norm Opela


I have noticed several people have mentioned having prostate problems. I had surgery having part of my prostate removed in 1992. Since that time I have constant prostatitis. I am wondering if the percentage of prostate problems amongst ASAers is higher than normal. I would appreciate feedback from those that have had or have problems with their prostate. You can just drop a note to me at Thanks, Norm Opela, Eureka, CA., 05H, Det 27, AP64-SE65




Ken Kraft asked about Dusty Rhodes, a pitcher on the fast pitch softball team, it had to be either 64 or 65 . I also was a pitcher those years. Dusty Rhodes was J. W. RHODES from North Carolina. He was an 05H on the same trick. I was on along with his partner in mischief Kenny (Head) MILLER from West

Virginia. Kenny had the biggest head I'd ever seen, hence the name Head. He was also brilliant with a photographic memory and some people thought he was psychic. A "newk" came on trick by the name of LLEWELYN, I think from K. C., and I told him Kenny was psychic and naturally he said BS. So we set things up like Kenny would tell him that when the second hand on the big clock reached 12 the phone would ring and it would be Lt.? in the Watch Office and would want him to come to the office. Naturally we had set it up to the second with the Lt. Then we would find out what they were having for chow (we did eat good), then find some guy Lew hadn't seen before and arrange exactly what he would put on his tray and arranged for him to stand two people ahead of me in the chow line. We would be standing in line and Kenny would say to Lew that he could tell him exactly what that man standing two people in front of Norm

was going to put on his tray. Like I said we ate good and had a lot of choices of what we wanted. The guy went through the line and put exactly what Kenny said he would. Lew was thereafter convinced Kenny had the sight.. Back to Ken Kraft from Tenn. I remember him well. He taught me, at great expense, the fine art of playing poker in our all night poker games. Getting carried away in my memories. Haven't thought those things in many years. Yeah Joe Carvalho was there also.


From: Daniel Drachman

To: ercgreen

Cc: Ancell, Bob ; Salinger, Tony

Subject: Response -- DAYS OF OUR LIVES #46

To: Elder RC Green

I first want to thank you for all that you are doing for all of us who served in Turkey! I mean it -- I appreciate your work and your time given for all of us! Thank you.

Below I will fill in some information from my memory. If others can help fill in gaps in the information or correct some of what I write - -great. I unfortunately, am loaded with work right now at my job in Moscow and do not have access to old notes of mine stored back in Atlanta. See comments below:

When I read what Ed Edwards wrote and what you wrote about Tim Neas, it reminded me of another prolific runner we had at Det. 27 by the name of Ted Nelson, with whom I had the opportunity to run. He left Det 27 in early April 1964 to go straight to New York City for pre-Olympic trials in the 880, which was his best race, as I remember. We got word back that he had just missed making the Olympic team, but was continuing with many competitions. And he could run. I actually developed a fatigue fracture in February 1964 running with him. I was trying to keep up with him on those Turkish dirt roads..... I thought it was severe shin splints at first.

He also played on our base '63-'64 basketball team. Sgt. Shatzer at the gym provided great equipment for us to exercise on before bb season began, but then we went into a heavy regime with Chaplin Devaney when he was called into be our coach along with Major Hughes (as I remember -- and he also had a very attractive daughter, as I remember). They put us through heavy group lifting exercises with telephone poles, etc. Chaplin Devaney had jumped at Normandy and expected nothing but the best from us. They were great coaches from the respect of having us ready mentally and physically and they knew the basics all right. John O'Brien actually coached us a bit too. He had played at Univ. of Seattle where Oscar Robertson had played, and had very good fundamentals. He was a fine player with the best pair of hands I have seen in bb with the ability to pass the ball with no head movement and deliver the ball right on target. What we may have lacked in deeper bb coaching fundamentals, was made up for with enthusiasm and being in great shape. We were always in better shape than our foes.

We had a very strong team after the arrival in early November of John Lampe (Phila.) and Boone (who had played at Eastern Kentucky). Ron Cox (Denver) played at the weak forward spot very well and I was the second guard with Boone and sometimes the 3rd guard. There was a part-time player for home games too -- who sometimes was with us by the name of Jim Bruhn. He did not always play with us..

Bigelow accidentally put me out of commission for a month when in practice on Sunday just six days before Kennedy was assassinated -- so Sunday 17Nov 1963 -- I was taken to the Air Force hospital and laid there until fortunately for me, my eye healed all right by itself. It had lost 70% of the fluid in the eye ball... I did not believe about Kennedy until I saw a paper myself 3 weeks after he was dead -- I just did not believe it. I was told that the base went on alert while I was gone. Chuck Silvernail was a good player too........... we had quite a good team -- should have done better than we did. In one of our games up at Sinop, the best player for that team lost his finger during warm-ups when his Turkish puzzle ring caught on the rim and cut it right off. They froze it as best they could but because of the fog on the Black Sea that night -- they could not fly out till in the morning -- it was too long a period then -- so he lost it, but 4 weeks later, he was playing with a protector on his hand. We had a lot of fun playing.

We too went to Athens and came in second. It was a fun tourney -- but we should have won it...... seemed to run out of gas.... Boone was injured and O'Brien too. And coach Devaney had to fly suddenly to Sinop where one of our soldiers was imprisoned for importing Mercedez cars illegally into New York?? The conditions he was living in were terrible with water covering the floor part of everyday. Chaplin Devaney was one of the few people allowed to see him. So our spiritual leader was gone too. All for now............ Dan Drachman[Mar'63 - Jun'64]

[[Thanks Dan for the correction concerning Tim Neas and the up-date on Ted Nelson. Its input such as yours that makes my task easier and at the same time generates interest and for readers to say, "Gee, I remember them jock straps or guys!" Now then, I'd appreciate the Gee-whizzers out there to add to what Dan has written. I found John Lampe (another ditty bopper) as noted above in the NEW FINDS section and am working on finding the others. John didn't have too much to say. I think I caught him off guard! He said that he hadn't heard from any ex-ASAer since being discharged. The others - Chuck Silvernail, Ted Nelson, ___ Boone, Major ___ Hughes, Ron Cox, John Obrien and Jim Bruhn have yet to be found. I have located the daughter (Dixie) of Sgt Shatzer and am awaiting info from her. Sgt Shatzer does not have email and Dixie relays my data to him. It is quite possible that Dixie will know the name of Maj Hughes daughter. Hope to keep this Basketball team in the spotlight. Hey Dan'l would it be asking too much to write a BIO for the Memory Book. I'm sure that it will be most interesting as the Moscow address invites curiosity, etc. Also, I'd like to sked for a Memory Book CD-R to be mailed to U, but don't have your mailing address. Please send your mail address and I'll sked the CD-R to be mailed to U. Thanks again!- - -gH]]


From: Ted Rosick

Subject: Ted Rosick



From: Michael Comroe

Elder: I just looked at some printouts of yours and wanted to make some brief comments. The name "mauler" came from the post newspaper that existed sometime around 61 to at least Dec 63. Tom Fittante must be losing it since I played on 1962 Trick 4 football team with him when we won the post title. I also played on post championship team in 62, didn't finish the season because I rotated back to states in December before season was over. I played both offensive and defensive tackle. I have a photo of 1962 post team which I will find a way to get to you. Still new with this computer. Regards, Mike Comroe, Audubon, PA., SP4, 059/K, Det 27, 61-62

[[Thanks Mike. We all will be waiting for the 62 team photo!- - -gH]]


From: Douglas R. Potts

Subject: My Bio, etc [edited]

I haven't forgotten about the BIO. I am just trying to make time. Do you have the ability to open up a Word file? I have 3 pages so far on my and Jay Hunter's BIO. I will forward it to you when I am finished.

Also, I'd like to order a Det 27 Hat. Can you send me one? Thanks, Doug Potts

[[Doug, Yes I can open a word file and will mail U a Det 27 Hat along with the Memory Book CD-R on Thurs. For the 2001 reunion at Ft Devens, I had t-shirts, sweat shirts, golf shirts and hats embroidered and they all sold out. I have four Det 27 hats left. They are $10.00 and well worth it. Also before the 2002 HERSHEY reunion I will have the Det 27, 4-4 and 66 logo's reproduced. I've had a heck of a time finding someone in the USA to make them, especially the awkward 4-4 logo. In the DAYS OF OUR LIVES #49 I will INTRODUCE my proposed NEW logo's for 4-4 and 66, so watch for it!- - -gH]]



Subject: John Randall

Elder, I will look for John Randall in Minnesota. I think his middle initial is R. I remember Bob R. Rudge. I took his position when he left Det 27. I'm sure that the lefty that he is referring to is me. It was one of many monikers I had over there. When you contact Bob again ask him how the "Old War Dog" is doing. That's the name he gave himself over there. I also remember Charles "kit" Cooper. He played 2nd base for our trick team. Lee Rutherford rings a bell but I can't remember a face. The other names don't ring the bell. Have you or anyone contacted Mark Telfer? He was married to Pat and had a daughter Stacy. I know Mark was from Newell, Iowa and there is a Clifford Telfer in the Tele listing from Newell. If he hasn't been located I'll call Clifford Telfer which I'm sure is a relative. When Dick Jones and I were first assigned to a trick at Det 27 ops were working 12 hr shifts. The night before we started work some guys welcomed us to the trick by opening the door of our room and throwing in a cherry bomb or M80 firecracker. Pieces were imbedded in the speakers of the new record player that we had just bought. I think after all these years they would own up to the damage that they wrought. Jorgy



Subject: found John Randall

gH, excellent detective work. I just talked to John Randall. He lives in Osage, Minnesota. His email adr is I will send him your adr and also I told him I would send a copy of the memory book. We were roaring laughing about old stories. He remembers a TA guy Richard Heil who is from Pa somewhere, who used a hatchet to "kill" the sausage that John brought back from Germany and the "lefty" was probably Jim Crump, the red headed pitcher on our trick team. John has lived in Minn for over 25 years, amazing. Jorgy


From: Craig Clark

Subject: Re: Your server's are rejecting my DAYS OF OUR LIVES



From: Rick Corriveau

Subject: Re: Your server's are rejecting my DAYS OF OUR LIVES

They are coming through fine on my end. It's one of those little computer hiccups where the mail gets through, but doesn't know it. Rick Corriveau

----- Original Message -----

From: ercgreen To: James Herring ; Tom Bodine ; A. Thos Ullmann ; Bert Whitaker ; Rick Corriveau ; ; Craig Clark ; Steve MacCartan Subject: Your server's are rejecting my DAYS OF OUR LIVES Re the subject. Please inform me of your status. Otherwise I will have to delete U fm my address book as the returned data takes up to much time on my PC. I guess that U might say that about my missives. Please inform ASAP - thanks - - -gH


From: Joe Carvalho <>

Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #46

Steve McCartan---weren't you in trick 3, too? And played football??

Have you heard from Lynn Seabury? Got one letter from him after he was discharged in '65 but that was it.

Hey, Street---good to hear about you--enjoy your retirement!

Let's see Rusty Rhodes??? Yep, great catcher but didn't know he was drafted by the Yankees. Saw him at VHFS in '67 where he was discharged, I think. I was just passing through and stayed at VHFS just 2 months

before heading to Ft. Meade. This sure is a great way to keep in touch! Joe Carvalho

[[Joe - For some reason my emails to Steve MacCartan are being rejected by his server. Hope to get that resolved soon. Any sleuth out there want to find Rusty Rhodes? Any takers? Ooh, come

on, start pitching in and help me find missing vet's- - -gH]]



Subject: Re: The SURVEY Report

Hi, Glad to hear about the time that I spent in Turkey. My wife told me that you called Saturday, she was a bit skeptical but said that you were very congenial. I spent a total of 9 years in the service, Jul 59 to Oct 68. Orleans France 60-62. Turkey 63-64. Ft Devens 64-65, Vint Hill Farms 65-67, Asmara Ethiopia 68. Got out because of the Nam situation. I have some "stories" to tell but will wait for awhile. By the way I'm 3 miles from Webster and plan to contact the fellow that lives there. Please keep me in the loop. Thanks, Bob Wrona, Penfield, NY., SP5


From: Clark L Bryan>



Subject: TUSLOG veteran from Webster, NY

HOWDY NEIGHBOR! da Green Hornet forwarded to me your e-mail about your Turkey assignment in 1963-64. I "married" a Rochester native, but WHY did you leave the Army after 10 years for Rochester?

So, what was your MOS? Ditty Bopper? Do you still try to "interpret" squeaks in your home, pot hole thumps while driving down the street, Dits and Dot sounds from the rain on your Penfield rooftop? (And, Elder Green thinks us linguists are squirrels - HA!)

Oh well, welcome to the TUSLOG train. It's nice to know that there are a couple of us living in Up-state NY. I'm married with children (two daughters; one @ Plank North and the other @ Webster High School).

I'd like to hear about your Ethiopia assignment. I had orders to go there in 1975 but the Navy cancelled those and sent me to Guam instead. I liked Guam but I would have loved to go to Ethiopia. Clark Bryan (USN/RET) former Army SP5, 98G(BULG), TUSLOG DET 27 & 4-4('66-69)

918 Dibble's Trail, Webster, NY 14580, 671-8905


From: Garland Gibbs

Subj: Please correct my dates at Manzarali to read: 66-68 and add to the Master Roster: Dr. (Cpt) Allan Goretsky 66-67, wife Carol, - Det 27 Tks [[Thank U! Garland is a new find vet and already has found several vet's for me. I wish that there were others out there like Maj Gibbs- rib, rib, rib. Also see above ref Dr. Goretsky]]



Subject: Snow shoes in the rain

Walt's email is referring to Ed Edwards article in #46 as follows:.......... From:

Well, after reading all the info coming from every corner of the earth, I thought it about time to put my two cent in. I played on the Trick #1 football team of 62 with Walt [Dubicki], Bill and a few others I remember. What I do remember about one game was it was played in a down pour, and me doing the punting it was not a good day for me. On one play, I was in the end zone, the ball comes bouncing back to me, picking it up with no chance to punt I ran to the side line. When I looked down field it was clear with no one in sight. Then I hear Dubicki yelling CUT IN, CUT IN. Well, I cut in and got blind sided about the five yard line. Dropped the wet ball and ate dirt followed by lots of water, only to have Walt stand over me and yelling things that still make me shake today.

Ed -

Since I'm not thin skinned and I really do have a sense of humor:

I WILL SINCERELY APOLOGIZE FOR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED SOME 39 YRS AGO.. But, I still am wondering why you chose to wear

those silly Snow Shoes instead of boots, in the rain !! You must have left all that speed on the baseball field - Besides, knowing that you were part of the top 10%, what made you listen to a Polock ???

Someone should have told you that football is a tough sport !!!!!!!!

HEY, THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES - Walt (Polock) Dubicki


From: Philip W. Kelly <>

To: Elder RC Green <>

Sent: Monday, January 28, 2002 11:49 PM

Subj: Please resend #46

Elder. For some reason #46 only came with the first two items (something about taps for a couple fellows). Could you try re-sending that one to me. I have received a few stray emails from guys who agree with me about leaving the subject alone re: gays at Det 27. I figure that #46 must have had something in it about the subject. Thanks, Phil [I re-sent #46- - -gH]


From: Ted Midtaune

Subj: Tim/Ted Nelson

Hey, Elder. Loved the message to Mr. Green. All this time and only now are they showing any respect??

Some info regarding Ed Edward's message about Timmy Neas. I believe that the person that he id'ed incorrectly is not Tim Nelson, but Ted Nelson. He served at Det 27 during that '63-'64 period and was a terrific long distance runner. I have already mentioned his wide out position in Flag football and that no one could give him enough cushion. He came from Minnesota, which was where I was from at that time. He caused a stir over there when he brought over his habit of wearing women's pantyhose when he played/ran (is there such a thing as men's pantyhose??). Said that the nylon kept his legs warm. He did admit to wearing skin colored hose so he wouldn't have to put up with too much guff from the rest of us. I have a feeling that he is the one that Ed remembers as being on Wide World of Sports since he was very serious about running and staying in shape. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that he did something special after he got out of the service (He was planning only a three year stint). Too bad that he has not been contacted as an alumni. Don't think that I will get enough of the stories, keep 'em coming.


From: Roger Glubka

To: 'ercgreen'

Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2002 3:52 AM

Subject: RE: General info

I haven't heard that in years (Roger, the Dodger). Another one was the hand soap commercial "wash your hands Roger"! You should hear my American/Korean partners on the customs team butcher my last name. When they do the introduction its 'I'm inspector Kim and my partner Inspector Gluck-ka. I tell everyone my last name sounds like a "john" backing up "glub" glub" glub" ka! Well enough of that. I got pictures to scan. Later! Roger, the Dodger. I cudn't resist. We have a toy poodle named RAJE and our grandson calls him "Rageee dodgeee. I compliment U on the photo of U and Michelle. It looks like a dream team! I will appreciate it if U would re-send the Ft Dix picture again as I want to insert it into the 2nd Edition of the Memory Book. Come to think of it, re-scan all three separately. I appreciate all the input that you've given me. Is it possible that U can tell me how to motivate others into participating? If so, I'm all ears!- - -gH

Sorry Elder. I'll resend them one at a time.

This attachment is my HS graduation picture, June 6th, 1963 Regis High

School in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

fUN DAYS -I'm on the left, Gutierrez is standing next to me and Kendricks is on the end, can't remember the two in the middle.

Roger on one knee: When I scanned this it stretched the legs out but again I'm in front kneeling and I remember Hall the black guy but the other ones I can't.

Basic training photo taken at Ft. Leonard Wood, MO 10/63.


From: Vollmering, Lance MTCH <>

Subj: Your wife's photo


I DO REMEMBER SEVERAL OF HIS LOAD FIZZLING WHILE OUT IN THE FIELD HUNTING. I SOLD THE SHOTGUN TO A GUN COLLECTOR FOR THREE TIMES THAN WHAT I PAID FOR. I PAID $86.00, FOR A WINCHESTER PUMP THAT HAD A PLASTIC RECOILING STOCK. NONE OF THESE [WERE] EVER SOLD IN THE STATES. [WERE] YOU ON POST THE NIGHT THE PUEBLO WAS CAPTURED? I REMEMBER A LOT OF HUSH HUSH WHEN THAT INCIDENT OCCUR. IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY, YOU MAY HAD TRANSFERRED OUT. WHERE DID THEY TRANSFER YOU TO? [[Don Carpenter was transferred a few days before me to Det 4-4 (Karamursel Air Station) I was there until October 1968 and then off to the 303rd RR Bn in Long Binh as the Assistant Liaison person responsible for the SIGINT briefing to the 3-Star General commanding II Field Force, RVN. There I worked alongside the son of Gen Patton. The son, then a Colonel, wore his Dad's pearl handled pistols and was not well liked by those at IIFF.]]


From: Roger Glubka

Subject: Carnation milk

One evening a Minnesota farm woman wrote a jingle to try to win a large cash prize from Carnation Milk. It was to be completed in 50 words or less.

Carnation furnished the first line - "I like Carnation best of all".

A couple of months later, the woman was surprised when a Carnation Milk

representative came to her door and said her entry was the best, but it could

not be published. However, they were giving her a consolation award of


Here is her entry:

I like Carnation best of all,

No tits to pull, no shit to haul.

No barns to clean

No hay to pitch.

Just punch a hole in the Son-of-a-bitch.


From: ercgreen

To: Joe Schafer

Cc: Bob wrona

Sent: Tuesday, January 29, 2002 9:16 AM

Subject: Memory Book routing

U wrote......I have received the memory book, made a copy, and await the word from for a future shipment to the next party. Thanks, Joe S..................

Joe. Please mail the CD-R to Bob Wrona at 201 Willow Pond Rd., Penfield, NY., 14526

For Bob Wrona: Please email me when U get the Memory Book CD-R and I will tell U where to mail it to next.


From: Dumbo (Bill Binney)

Subject: BLAME

Let's see if I understand how the world works lately.....If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home drunk, he blames the bartender

If your grandchildren are brats without manners, you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it is anymore.

So, if I die while my old, wrinkled butt is parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates...okay?


From: Bill Hartranft

Subject: Best Super Bowl Seat

Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company.

Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he discovered the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take achance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man said, "No."

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?!"

The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"That's really sad," said Bob, "But still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"

"No," the man replied, "They're all at the funeral." [[We were planning a Super Bowl Bash at our place, but it went BAM last Sunday and now we have to sit alone and settle for the Pilgrims vs the Show me's- - -gH]]


From: Bob Ashton


I can't vouch for the validity, but it brought tears to my eyes.

Ann Margaret and her Gentlemen

Richard, (my husband), never really talked a lot about his time in Viet Nam other than he had been shot by a sniper. However, he had a rather grainy, 8X10 black & white photo he had taken at a USO show of Ann Margaret with Bob Hope in the background that was one of his treasures.

A few years ago, Ann Margaret was doing a book signing at a local bookstore. Richard wanted to see if he could get her to sign the treasured photo so he arrived at the bookstore at 12 o'clock for the 7:30 signing. When I got there after work, the line went all the way around the bookstore, circled the parking lot, and disappeared behind a parking garage.

Before her appearance, bookstore employees announced that she would sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted. Richard was disappointed, but wanted to show her the photo and let her know how much those shows meant to lonely GI's so far from home. Ann Margaret came out looking as beautiful as ever and, as 2nd in line,it was soon Richard's turn. He presented the book for her signature and then took out the photo. When he did, there were many shouts from the

employees that she would not sign it. Richard said, "I understand. I just wanted her to see it".

She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she said,"This is one of my gentlemen from Viet Nam and I most certainly will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and I always have time for "my gentlemen". With that, she pulled Richard across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite a to do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years, how much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them.

There weren't too many dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then posed for pictures and acted as if he was the only one there. Later at dinner, Richard was very quiet. When I asked if he'd like to talk about it, my big strong husband broke down in tears. "That's the first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in the Army", he said.

Richard, like many others, came home to people who spit on him and shouted ugly things at him. That night was a turning point for him. He walked a little straighter and, for the first time in years, was proud to have been a Vet.

I'll never forget Ann Margaret for her graciousness and how much that small act of kindness meant to my husband. I now make it a point to say Thank You to every person I come across who served in our Armed Forces. Freedom does not come cheap and I am grateful for all those who have served their country. If you'd like to pass on this story, feel free to do so. Perhaps it will help others to become aware of how important it is to acknowledge the contribution our service people make. I hope this gets around to J.Fonda!!!



From: Walters, William

Subject: Senior Moments (fwd)

This story is about an elderly couple, sitting together watching television. During one of those commercials, the husband asked his wife, "Whatever happened to our sexual relations?" After a long thoughtful silence, and during the next commercial, the wife replied, "You know, I don't know. I don't think we got a Christmas card from them this year."


When the husband finally died, his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he had died of gonorrhea. No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family

phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea!" The widow replied, "I nursed him night and day, so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."


An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They

searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man received a FAX from the ship. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was and oyster and it had a pearl inside worth $50,000....please advise." The old man Faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."


A funeral service is being held for a woman who had just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying out the casket when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan! They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held and at the end of it, the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one of them looked at the other and said, "Now, don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time....but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes, she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she

said, "How soon do you need to know?"


From: Dumbo (Bill Binney)

Subject: Engineers ..............A group of blondes in a class at the University of the Pacific were

given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they went out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing was just a mess. An engineering student comes along, sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, and then gave measurement to one of the blondes and walked away. After the engineer had gone, one blonde turned to another and laughed. "Isn't that just like a dumb engineer? We're looking for the height and he gives us the length!"



Children hell! This is just about the best all round explanation that I have heard of this debacle.

Feudalism - You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism - You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Communism - You have two cows. Your neighbors help take care of them and you share the milk.

Totalitarianism - You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Enron Venture Capitalism - You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.


From: Dumbo

Subject: Presidential Barbers

G.W. Bush and Bill Clinton somehow ended up in the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Clinton in his chair reached for aftershave. Clinton was quick to stop him saying," No thanks, my wife Hillery will smell that and think I've been to a whorehouse".

The second barber turned to Bush and said" how about you?"

Bush replied' Go ahead, my wife Laura doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."


From: Walters, William

Two cowboys from Texas walk into a roadhouse. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer and talking about current cattle prices.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the cowboys looks at her and says, "Kin ya swaller?"

The woman shakes her head, no.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head.

The cowboy walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties, and slowly runs his tongue from the back of her thigh up to the small of her back.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the cowboy walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there "Hind Lick Maneuver, but ain't never seen nobody do it."

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