Subject : DAYS OF OUR LIVES #40
Date : Sun, 6 Jan 2002 18:57:27 -0600
mailcall - PRESERVING FORGOTTEN MEMORIES
THE ATTACHMENT IS A FOTO OF THE MAIN GATE AT KARAMURSEL AIR
STATION WHICH WAS ESTABLISHED IN 1957 AND WAS THEN A BLEAK AIR
FORCE OUTPOST THEN KNOWN AS "Mudsite" ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
47 NEW e-mail MEMBERS
Robert Ashton, Det 66, JL63-JL64, Milton, VT rashton33@cs.com
Eric Balderson, Finance O, Det 27,
62-63, Mendham, NJ ericramona@aol.com
Tom Beall, 98C, Det 27, Mentor, OH tbeall@lightstream.net
John Bieber, C/C, Det 27, AU66-FE68, Breinigsville, PA jbieber@aol.com
Tom Bodine, 98C, Det 27, MY65-OC66, tebodine@hotmail.com
Ed Burdick, 05K, Det 4-4, JA70-JL71, Meadville, PA edwb@toolcity.net
Homer Butler Craig Clark, Det 27, 66-67, El Cajon, CA airborne265@hotmail.com
Mike Comroe; 05K, Det 27, 61-62, Audubon,PA , mfcomroe@onix.com
Lanny Couvillon, Det 27, OC62-AP64, rcouv@jps.net
Dave Cribbs, Det 4-4, MY70-JL72, Charlotte, NC, DBMJLaol.com Ray Crist, 33C, Det 27, 67-68, Jershey Shore, PA, rcrist3388@aol.com
Bob Dade, 05H, Det 27, NO62-MR64, Kingsport, TN, bdade4100@cs.com
Melvin Depew, Supply Sgt, Det 17, 66-67, Lexington, KY msgdepluci@aol.com
Dan Drachman, Det 27, MR63-JN64, ddrachman.ce77@gtalumni.org
Dick Fagioli, Det 27, 65-DE66, New Castle, DE rfagioli@att.net
Joe Figaretti, Wheeling, WV, joefigaretti@yahoo.com
Tom Fittante,
98GRoumanian, Det 27, JL61-29JA63, New Waterford, OH nefton@raex.com
Mike Gabriel, Det 27, JA62-JN63, Vancouver, WA, mrgabe@hotmail.com
Joe Giannattasio, Det 27, 65-66, joegino@aol.com
Joe Goularte, Det 27, JA64-NO65, Carmel, CA, salmonman70@hotmail.com
Nathan Hamrick, Det 27, AU62-NO63, Deltona, FL genehamrick@webwizzards.com
Art Handy, 98C, Det 4-4, NO68-NO71 and JL74-AP76, Tybee Island, GA arthandy@hotmail.com
Walt Hill, 05H, Det 4-4, 69-70, OKC, OK, walhill300@aol.com
Nick Hostettler, 05H, Det 27, 61-62, New Baltimore, MI, nhostet@michbar.org
Ron Hudson, Det 27, Leitchfield, KY 601@kyis.net <http://lw4fd.law4.hotmail.msn.com/cgi-
Ed Jones, 05K, Det 27, 62-65, Bismarck, IK hejones@escocorp.com
Larry Kudlac, 05D, Det 27, 63-65, Leominster, MA larrykudlac@hotmail.com
Paul Kuehl, 05D, Det 27, 66-67, Manitau, WI pkuehl@compares.com
Rex Lardner, Special Services, Det 27, MY66-DE67, Wilmette, IL rlardner@intersportnet.com
John Maca, 33C, Det 27, AU65-MR68, Watkins, CO jjlmac@concentric.net
Mike McKee, Det 27, Iimmmm123@aol.com
Ken Miller, 05H, Det 27, 1962, Beavercreek, OR k7ifg@arrl.net
Freddy G. Musgrove, Cdr Hq Co, Det 27, JN63-NO65, Corpus Christi, TX usgrove@pyramid3.net
Jimmy Nolan, S4, Det 27, JA64-JN66, Hopewell, VA jimmyqnolan@earthlink.net
Bob Notestine, CID, Det 27, 66-68, Manhattan, KS bobn@kscable.net
Doug Potts, Det 27, San Diego, CA escapen@eudoramail.com
Howie Ramey, 05H, Det 27, MR66-AU67, E. Wenatchee, WA w7oj@hotmail.com
G. Harvey Richard, 05K, Det 27 & 4-4, 66-68, San Antonio, TX grichard2@juno.com
Ken Ritchie, 286, Det 27, MR63-AU64, Bellingham, WA kennbobb360@hotmail.com
Rudy Schenk, Det 66, JA64-MY65, w0ey@arrl.net
Carl Speaks, 05H, Det 27, 63-65, Arp, TX carl4156@yahoo.com
Gordon Stamper, 05D, Det 27, JN67-JA68, Richmond Hts, OH gastamper@repwest.com
Troy Usher, 723, Det 27, 62-63, Dallas, TX usher00@earthlink.net
Herb Wiley, Finance, Det 27, 66-67, Bostic, NC hnl@rfci.net
Bob Wright, Det 27, rfwright@bellsouth.net
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The Priceless attachment came from DUMBO and I thought that I wud include it here for your enjoyment! Pic from the first STEELERS game that Dad took me to. TAKING YOUR SON TO YOUR 1st PROFESSIONAL GAME!!! Tickets to the game $80.00 First beer with your dad $5.50 First hotdog at a game $4.00. Seeing your first set close up............priceless!
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I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ID ANYBODY IN THE STUART SMITH FOTO ATTACHMENT, The foto was taken in 1965 by Smith. It is believed that the fol vet's MIGHT BE IN THE FOTO: Paul Andres, Doug Bartosh, Bill Black, George Hensley, Derwood Jones, Don Keller, Tom Kieffer, Tom (Doc) O'Doughrty, John Otto, Rick Pecht, Leon Price or Larry Termatt. CAN ANYONE ID THESE DET 27 VET'S????
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HAD A VERY INTERESTING PHONE CONVERSATION WITH KEN (THE OLD MAN)
RICHARDSON. KEN WAS A TRICK #4 05H AT DET 4-4 (KARAMURSEL)
SE68-71. HE OWNS AND OPERATES A 3200 ACRE RANCH IN ROCKY, OK.
2900 ACRES ARE TILLABLE AND HIS MAIN CROPS ARE WHEAT AND COTTON.
HAS OVER 600 BEEF CATTLE AND THAT KEEPS HIM BUSY YEAR ROUND. KEN
IS 58, MARRIED TO MARGARET (MARTY) AND HAS A BOY AND GIRL. WUD
LIKE TO ATTEND THE 2002 REUNION, BUT THE RANCH WORK HAS HIM TIED
UP YEAR ROUND. HE WUD LIKE TO HEAR FROM HIS 'OLD' FRIENDS. HIS
ADDRESS IS: PO BOX 213, ROCKY, OK 73661, 580-666-2464- - -gH
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Fm: Gene Cram
It was early in
December as near as I remember. I was walking down the street in
tipsy pride. Not a soul was I disturbing as I lay down by the
curbing. When a pig came up and laid down by my side. As I lay
there in the gutter, thinking thoughts I shouldn’t utter, a
lady passing by was heard to say – you can tell a man who
boozes by the company he chooses. And the pig got up and slowly
walked away .
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Fm: Dumbo lstupid1@starpower.net
Subject: ITALIAN HONEYMOON After returning
from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi
stopped in his New York neighborhood barbershop to say hello to
his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was a da
treep?" Luigi said, "Ever'thing was a perfect except
for da train a ride down." What'a you mean, Luigi?"
asked Giovanni. "Well, we boarda da train at Grand Centrala
Station. My beautiful a Virginia had packed a biga basket a food
with vino and cigars for a me, and a we were looking a forward to
da trip. All was OK until we gotta hungry and opened up a da
luncha basket. "The conductor came by, wagged his a finger
at us and a say,' No eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.'
So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat a
big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino. Conductor come
again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No drink'a in dese'a car.
Must'a use'a club'a car.' "So we go to club'a car. While'a
drinking vino, I start to light'a my big'a cigar. The conductor,
he wag'a his finger again and say, 'No smoke'ain dese'a car.
Must'a go to smoker car.' We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my
cigar. Later, my beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car
and'a go to bed. We just about to have'a sex and the conductor,
he come'a through car yelling, 'NO-FOK, VIRGINIA! NO-FOK,
VIRGINIA!' "Next'a time, Ima driva down!!"
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Fm: Rashton33@cs.com
Subj: CORRECTION Elder Green, I
was assigned to Det 66 instead of 27. I am old and forgetful!
Everything out listed is correct. I appreciate your efforts in
getting this site up and operating. I went through the entire
roster and found several of the folks that I served with on the
roster, however most of them had no address attached to them. Two
other men who were in Det 66 and were good freinds are Melvin
Chun from Honolulu and Joe Spear from New York City. I have been
in contact with Chun and know that he is still living in
Honolulu. As an aside, I was planning on making a career of the
Army and had six years in when I rotated back stateside. My
reinlistment officer was a CW4 Kroll. He had me in for an
interview. My MOS proficiency scores were very high every year
that we were tested. His advise to me was to get out of the Army
and make something of myself. I took his advice! Thanks again.
Robt Ashton/Milton, VT
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Fm: Gary Winch <gwwinch@worldnet.att.net
Subject: Hi/CD Has Arrived! Hi Elder! FYI, the CD arrived today and I have copied it to my system. Thanks for following up on this; I'll await your instructions on where to sent it to next. Cheers/Gary. Mail it to Joe Figaretti at 810 Main St., Wheeling, WV 26003. Tks- - -gH
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Weekly Inspiration: F r i e n d s (Author unk_ Friends are for laughing... and telling your secrets to. They never find you lacking... no matter what you say or do!... Friends are for sharing... they listen to all your troubles and never complain!...... Friends are always very caring... forever there for you, even when you're being a pain! I'm so glad my friend is YOU!! -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fm: Raymond S Bernstein raysbern4@juno.com
Subject: CD The Memory Book CD-R is up up and away to TOM BODINE RayBernstein
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Fm: RicRalph@aol.com
Just wanted to wish you and Patty a very Happy New Year, Top. Thanks for all you have done to bring us ex Site 23er's together. You've done a great job! Best regards, Ralph Richter
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Fm: g_jorgensen@hotmail.com
Subj: Karamursel fotos gh, I enjoyed the photo, I think my room was the farthest one on the left on bottom floor. It looks like the pic was taken close to that infamous horse stable. The one with those mean horses that tried to kill the young lad from Minnesota. The taxi story from Chas McClevish was great. I think we all had similar stories. On Mark Hamiltons website I have a photo of our bus passing going uphill with a vehicle coming right at us. I figured since it happened all the time I would get my camera ready. I also remember coming down the long hill from Bursa to Yalova and the driver would shift to neutral and shut off the engine. That 54 chevy was quite the car. Also the Dolmus rides with the chickens and piglets were interesting. Please don't let your frustration with human nature put a dent in your enthusiasm for "days of our lives". I'm sure I speak for most that we look forward to the next issue. It would be nice if we could get more response but for whatever reason that just won't happen for some guys. I wish guys would realize "this ain't no dress rehearsal" . Life is short and Turkey was part of our lives. Thank you and keep up the good work. Gary "Jorgy" Jorgensen
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Fm: Karen and Lawrence Rickard
Subj: Re: Karamursel foto's I don't remember the street names. However, I would suggest dating the front gate picture since as I recall there was a Turkish store just outside the front gate when I was there in 1972-74. Also, the map of the base doesn't do it justice although it is a nice bit of memorabilia. When I lived there with my first wife, Claudia, we lived in the trailers and then the "townhouses" after that. That was my second tour. My first was as a Marine Russian linguist with Co F which event-ually moved lock, stock and barrel to Bremerhaven, Germany (slight change of cultures). While at KAS during my "accompanied" tour, I ran every inch of that station. Quite frankly and most unfortunately, my most poignant memory of the place which even overshadows my first tour were the Hashish parties thrown by Mike Hughes and Jerry Sharples (USAF, aka Army CWO CI working undercover in the station's mail room) in 1974, and Roger Jarvis' (Youth Activities Coordinator) interludes only outdone by Linda Phieffer's fabrication in order to protect the Deputy. Also, it was Jerry Sharples (last working for DEC in Massachusetts as a security officer) who helped put the three American soldiers in the Turkish jail in Karamursel in 1974. I used to take the "three hots" a day to them just prior to PCSing to Devens in 1974. We discussed a lot of shit. So, you'll have to excuse me if I don't provide a whole lot of input on TUSLOG Det 4-4. While I have distinct memories of it, I certainly don't have a hell of a lot of exceptionally "positive" memories in spite of the fact that I must have two cubic feet of photos from both of my tours there. BTW, you and your "helper bees" are doing a terrific job on the Days of Our Lives series. V/R, Larry Rickard
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Fm: James M. Findley
Subj: KAS Elder, Your msg came-up as computer gibberish. Erin, my daughter, & I are planning on going halves on a new computer sometime in the next few months. Maybe then I can get everything you guys are sending me. Thom ? actually drove the bus to the party @ Dave Bugar's (I'm almost sure the party was @ his trailer) house. We "borrowed" it @ the snackbar. We had been waiting for the driver for some time & he seemed to be a no-show. We wanted to get to the party! There were probably 5 or 6 other people in the bus. Thom just jumped into the driver's seat, I sat immediately behind him, & away we went to the commissary, which was within walking distance of the trailers. It was night, the commissary was closed & the area was dark, but our fellow Turkey-bussers didn't seem to mind being hijacked; they didn't say a word! I can only assume that they are not still sitting in that bus in front of the commissary! As to the Ape sign, the damned thing was a whole lot heavier than we thought, being on 4X4 poles. As I recall, we had to take turns dragging the thing. We took it immediately toward the trailers. The guys who were dragging it the first time the Apes showed-up just pulled it underneath a trailer. According to them, the Apes never thought to look UNDER the trailers, just around them. The rest of us saw the Apes coming & took off! Clark told me he wouldn't want "Body of Secrets", the book on NSA, as I find myself w/an extra copy. You never told me if you would like me to send it to you. It was an unreturnable Christmas gift from my sister & I already have a copy. After all of the work you've done for all of us, I would be very pleased to pass it on to you. My sister thought that it was a good idea, too. Otherwise I'll contact some of the other guys & see if they would be interrested. Happy Ought Two! God Bless Mike
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Fm: William Bender bbender@tobiasinc.com
Subj: Karamursel Air Station Map Dear Elder: The photograph showing the front gate area was very interesting. By the time I arrived there in 1970 the circle had been removed and replaced with a large area of asphalt. The taxis parked in front of the guard house had been moved to across the street but still in use! They had the best kept 1957 Chevy's I've ever been in. I was first housed in the Army barracks, building #513. After about a month I moved to beautiful down-town Karamursel in an apartment where I lived with my young bride, a locally obtained puppy, and a few scorpions that lived beneath my wooden floors. I had an agreement with the scorpions, they stayed out of my boots and I wouldn't step on them! Anyway, from the pictures I brought back from my visit to KAS in May 2001, the front gate area has changed in appearance but the base itself looks pretty much the same. The Elephant Cage is gone and most of the 1957 taxis have died off as well. Many have been replaced with Mercedes or European made Fords. Now as far as the names of the roads on base, I can't seem to remember any names but I'm sure one at least was named after Kemal Attaturk! I hope somebody else can help with the information. Best Regards, Bill Bender
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Fm: Lanny Couvillon rcouv@jps.net
Subject: add on-- Elder--I have received forwarded information from Ted Midtaune. I was at Det 27--OC62-AP64--transferred to Bad Aibling, Germany. I was an E-3 & E-4 in Turkey and discharged as an E-5. I do still see a few of the guys I was stationed with and will forward your information to them. Thanks for adding me to the roster. My address is: Lanny Couvillon, 51 Oak Ave., Novato, Ca. 94945 415-897-7933 Send me the form and I will return along with names and information on the guys I have had contact with-- Thanks Lanny Couvillon (LC)
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Fm: Art Handy
Subj: Re: Routing instructions for the Memory Book Dave, I got the memory book the other day, thanks a lot! It is great! I will be sending the CD on to Nathan ASAP. Awards listed on DD214: LOM(2), MSM(2), ARCOMM(2), Army Achievement Medal, Medal of Occupation (Berlin) Thanks again. Art
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Fm: Tom Bodine tebodine@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #39 Hello again, Elder. And this is good stuff. I´d like you to keep it up. I´m sorry I didn´t reply to your bio query but right now I feel that putting too much of my biodata on the net might not be compatible with my current employ. Get it, huh? Anyway, you clarified that it was my USPS address you were unsure of. I´m at the American Embassy in Madrid right now, and my address is Tom Bodine, US Embassy Madrid, PSC 61, DCSG Box 10 APO AE 09642 I hope this is of some help. Tom
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Fm: Joseph Figaretti joefigaretti@yahoo.com
Subj: Re: Need your mailing address Dear Elder Green: Geewiz, it sound like I'm in church.. Arrived Turkey, Det 27 in January1966, and caught the big Pan Am 707 out in August 1967. Had a wonderful time. Hqs Co. and in the Accounting (if you can call it that) Office. Played around down town every night for about a year. Nesslerod, Berger and a few others were my partners in crime. Been in Wheeling, WV since. Wife and Two Sons. Was in the computer software business and sold out in '93. Work for my wife in our gift shoppe (The Eckhart House Gift Shoppe) and run some property now. Tell me about the reunion and such. My address is: Joe Figaretti, C/O The Eckhart House, 810 Main Street, Wheeling, WV 26003 Thanks Joe Figaretti
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Fm: Joseph Figaretti joefigaretti@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: YOUR ASA days and life thereafter Elder, thank you for your quick and extensive reply. The names are Joe Nesselrod from North Carolina and Richard Berger from Orange County, CA. I'll get back with the rest. Joe
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Fm: Hagan, Rocky A (FL51)
Subj: RE: Then Memory Book Hi! Yes he (Jim Nolan) should have the Memory Book. I have been gone for several weeks on vacation but mailed it out before I wentHave a great day and Happy New Year.Rocky [[For Jim Nolan: Did Umail the CD-R to Ron Hudson?- - -gH]]
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Fm: Hagan, Rocky A (FL51) rocky.hagan@honeywell.com
Subj: Note from Rocky The company I work for just put out this Virus alert. I thought I would pass it on. If you receive any email messages described on this page, delete it immediately and delete it from your deleted items folder. DO NOT OPEN IT Also, any suspicious messages you receive should be deleted as well or verify with the sender for authenticity. VIRUS ALERT: NEW WORM_GONE.A VIRUS There is another virus outbreak named the WORM_GONE.A virus. Virus Characteristics Subject: Hi Body: How are you ? When I saw this screensaver, I immediately thought about you. I am in a harry, I promise you will love it! Attachment: GONE.SCR When you open the infected attachment, the virus sends itself out to everyone in your address book, spreading the virus and overloading the e-mail servers. WARNING: PLEASE ALSO BE AWARE OF THE EXISTENCE OF THE FOLLOWING: NIMDA javascript:windowpopup(8) W32/FUNLOVE <javascript:windowpopup(7)> TROJ_NAKEDWIFE VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(6)> SHOCKWAVE VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(5)> W2K.STREAM VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(1)> NEW LOVELETTER VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(2)> POKEY VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(3)> LIFE STAGES VIRUS <javascript:windowpopup(4)> Have a great day. Rocky
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Fm: Dumbo lstupid1@starpower.net
Subject: Astronomy Picture of the Day (APOD) GH, you will probably like and enjoy these webpages. Have fun. Bill Binney Astronomy Picture of the Day:
(Try clicking on the images.. to blow them up full size) Check out archive. You can browse through tons of pictures.
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Fm: Dumbo
Subj: Guiness anyone? The answer to one of life's great mysteries! I haven't heard anyone explain this as well as the all-wise Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. "Well ya see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cell first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
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THE FOL IS FOR MILITARY RETIREES Subj: TRICARE Standard Survey Because an interesting question has been raised, in reference to under 65 military retirees that may not have access to promised medical care, I have added a new wrinkle to the
Reform TRICARE web site. I added a link to a guestbook which I hope will be used to conduct a TRICARE Standard Survey. I'm asking you to use this guestbook to identify the City and State where Doctors will not accept or it is difficult to find a Doctor that will accept TRICARE Standard. Revealing your name is optional, but please reveal City, State, and other relevantcomments.
MAKE PRUDENT COMMENTS. BE ABLE TO BACK-UP WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. Sincerely: Floyd Sears, MSGT, USAF, 1951-1971, (Retired) Military Retiree Grass Roots Group (MRGRG) in Mississippi Keeping the military retiree medical care broken promise issue alive See http://personal.lig.bellsouth.net/lig/f/s/fsears/and <http://216.33.148.250/cgi-bin/linkrd?_
Call Congress Toll Free using
TROA's 1-877-762-8762
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Fm: RicRalph@aol.com
Subj: Re: My first
STEELERS game... Priceless. That was pretty cute, Top. I think
that young man may have been me in the picture, at an Eagles game
back in the 50's... What do you think fathers should do with
their daughters to help them "mature?!" RalphRichter
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Fm: JAMES A HARBER jimharber@juno.com
Subject: Turkish Characters fyi Special characters for Turkish and how to produce them using your keyboard: As in Çerkezhöyük, Türkiye 1. Press your ALT key and while pressing, go to your NUMBER PAD (not the numerals running across your keyboard) and type the set as indicated: â = ALT 131 ç = ALT 135 Ç = ALT 128 Ö = Alt 153 ö = ALT 148 ü = ALT 129 Ü = ALT 154 û = ALT 150 Windows is unable to recognize the S (sh sound) with hook beneath (similar to the ç) and the g with "v" above it.
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NOW EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME ... "I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email! I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, if I DO forward an email. Bill Gates is NOT going to send me money, Victoria Secret doesn't know anything about a gift certificate they're supposed to send me, and Ford will not give me a 50% discount even if I forward my email to more than 50 people! I will NEVER receive gift certificates, coupons, or freebies from Coca Cola, Cracker Barrel, Old Navy, or anyone else if I send an email to 10 people. I will NEVER see a pop-up window if I forward an email ... NEVER!!!! My phone will not MYSTERIOUSLY ring after I forward an email. There is NO SUCH THING as an email-tracking program, and I am not STUPID enough to think that someone will send me $100 for forwarding an email to 10 or more people! There is no kid with cancer through the Make-A-Wish program in England collecting anything! He did when he was 7 years old. He is now cancer free and 35 years old and DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE POST CARDS, CALLING CARDS, or GET-WELL CARDS. The government does not have a bill in Congress called 901B (or whatever they named it this week) that, if passed, will enable them to charge us 5 cents for every email we send. There will be NO cool dancing, singing, waving, colorful flowers, characters, or program that I will receive immediately after I forward an email. The American Red Cross will NOT donate 50 cents to a certain individual dying of some never-heard of disease for every email address I send this to.The American Red Cross RECEIVES donations. And finally, I WILL NOT let others guilt me into sending things by telling me I am not their friend or that I don't believe in Jesus Christ. If God wants to send me a message, I believe the bushes in my yard will burn before He picks up a PC to pass it on! " Now, repeat this to yourself until you have it memorized, and send it along to at least 5 of your friends before the next full moon or you will surely be constipated for the next three months and all of your hair will fallout!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dumbo
Subject: Midget In Texas There was a midget down in Texas who complained to his buddy that his testicles ached almost all the time. As he was always complaining about his problem, his friend finally suggested that he go to the doctor to see what could be done to relieve the problem. The midget took his advice and went to the doctor and told him what the problem was. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table,and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough-the usual method to check for a hernia. "Aha!" mumbled the doc and putting his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again. "Aha!" said the doctor and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip, snip, snip, snip on the right side then snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip, snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to get dressed and see if they still ached. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around the doc's office and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. "Gee, what did you do, Doc?" he asked. "I took two inches off the tops of your cowboy boots." the Doc replied.
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Subject: This is long, but it is TOO funny! It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law, promptly asked the man, "Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died." "No problem," said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've thought my wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour, she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex with him. So today I was going to come home too and catch them. Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for this guy. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. But, I couldn't find him! Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think he could hide from me! Well, I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke his fall, and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more, so in a rage I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony and heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that right after that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day, and it was a crime of passion, so he announced, "OK, Sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in. A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK. Here's the rule. Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died." "Sure thing," the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises when I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the balcony directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing and stomping on my fingers! Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the way down which broke my fall so I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciat-ing pain, I see the man push his refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top of me and kills me!" The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man enter. A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the gate. "Tell me about the day you died," said the angel. "OK. Picture this," says the man. "I'm naked inside a refrigerator -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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