Subject : DAYS OF OUR LIVES #50
Date : Tue, 5 Feb 2002 20:12:53 -0600
MAIL-call - PRESERVING FORGOTTEN MEMORIES
Newly found VET'S
HURST, Jerry R., 1LT, XO Det 17 & Watch Officer Det 27, 63-65, (Sherrie), 205 Missionary Ridge, Hampton, VA 23669, 757-851-6075, hurstj1@monroe.army.mil. Jerry retired as a Major in 1984 and is a walking encyclopedia in recalling names and events during his TOUR OF DUTY at Det 17 and Det 27. I think that Bill Walters took his place at Det 17 when Jerry was transferred to Det 27 and became a Watch Officer on one of the tricks.
JONES, Richard D., (Dick), SP5, 05H, Det 27 & 4-4, 66-69, (Diane), 721 Woodstock Rd., Virginia Beach, VA., 23464, 757-420-7876, jonesrd@pwcnorva.navy.mil
MURRAY, Nelson (Butch), Det 27 @62-63, safari@laguna.com.mx . Penny Teschker found him for us
SHATZER, Charles, E5, Det 27, 62-64, dlrooks@mindspring.com (That's the e-mail for his daughter, Dixie Rooks). To: Elder RC Green---Received your e-mail that Dan Drachman sent to you. It was very interesting and brought back a lot of memories---for me and my Dad. Dad said he recognized some of the names but not all. We had fun talking about it on the phone---and I also, sent him a hard copy to look at. Originally he said he didn't remember any names from Ankara---it had been so long ago. But that letter proved him wrong as he did remember and enjoyed hearing all about the people again. Do you have anymore e-mails? Pass them on if you do, please.Thank you for taking the time to send these messages to us. (so I can relay them to my dad) Hope to hear from you soon.Dixie.[[Dixie - I'd appreciate it if U would get your Dad to write up a short BIO of his Military career (Was he in the ASA or was Det 27 just a normal Army assignment?) and send it to me so that I can include it in the 2nd Edition of the TURKEY Memory Book. The 1st Edition was 85 pages and is on a CD-R that is being mailed to those who desire a copy. If U fit that category, please request that the CD-R be mailed to U.
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E-mail changes
DOVE, Norm- ndove@comcast.net
VANNOY, Claude and Ginny - vace@charter.net
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WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE LIEUTENANT WHO LOWERED THE FLAG AT MANZARALI FOR THE LAST TIME? ALSO, WHO ELSE WAS PRESENT AT THAT CEREMONY?
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Did y'all know that:
1. This e-mail might contain info which may be privileged or otherwise protected fm disclosure. The info is intended to be used solely by the recipients. If U are not an intended recipient, be aware..... and if U have received this e-mail in error, please notify me immediately! My missives might be a pain in the neck and boring to some readers....(if so, edit and delete the 'junk') as my notes are helter-skelter and lost most of the time.... and that Patty says I can't get a darn thing done around the house...... and that I try to be a toughie ex-1SG, but am only a cream puff..... but, I think, day by day, in every way, my willpower is getting better and better..... and negative thoughts, negative suggestions, have no influence over me......and that a silly comment like that evokes......
2. Thanks to Walt Dubicki, Chuck and Penny TeschKer have joined the TURKEY TROTTERS and already have, like a few others, made a BIG dent in finding lost 27'ers. Penny's maiden name is STORROW...and that she uses SHERLOCK as her search engine.....WOW, lets try it!
3. ........ a quick way to find 'LOST' friends is to use http://216.33.148.250/cgi-bin/linkrd?_lang=EN&lah=6a600a56795290d61fd9d882c7b5fb01&lat=1013006393&hm___action=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2eswitchboard%2ecom
4. I wud like to develop a grassroots leadership at the state levels!
5. I ust to be a pack-and-a-half-a day smoker, but quit in 1976!
6. A teacher who expects less fm students gets less, and one who expects more gets more! I'm wondering - where in the heck does this place me in respect to the Memory Book?
7. I hurry-scurry plagiarized the cover of the Memory Book from the ZOOMIE Det 95 Pam 34-1-1 booklet.....
8. I was a farm boy, an ASA'er (lifer to be exact) and a coal miner with a PENN STATE degree.....
9. I have trouble bending over to tie my shoelaces nowadays. Anyone else fit that discription......If so, tell us about it......
10. The right & wrong precept influences our daily lives and that sometimes it takes control of our analytical skills and make us see things in only either black or white and, yes, sometimes even in fuzzy shades of gray....
11. Those of U who are regular readers know me only fm what I write and that I try too hard to convey the BIO message. Is it that my instructions are too wordy and not simple enuf or is it that many think that their BIO is not impressive enuf......We ex-ASA'ers are enormously proud veteran's and our ex-skills are in the hidden past unless y'all reveal them in my missives and the Memory Book. Remember.....It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end!
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Fm: Douglas R. Potts escapen@eudoramail.com
Subj: Manzarali All-Star Softball Team - 1963
Here is a picture of the post softball team in 1963. In the front row 2nd fm the left is Jay Hunter #11. Sitting directly behind him is myself, Doug Potts #20. In the front row right side is Sgt. Hicks #15(the coach of the team). Next to him is the pitcher on our team Fred (forgot his last name) #22. Top row right side is Bernie Carbo (not exactly sure of his last name). The rest of them are a mystery to me. That kind of happens over time. Hope that picture adds to the stuff you are collecting. Doug Potts
PLEASE GO TO THE ATTACHED 1963 MANZARALI ALL-STAR SOFTBALL TEAM AND HELP US IDENTIFY THE UNK'S. Thanks Doug. For the curious, Doug Potts later played outfield and Jay Hunter was the catcher for the "KING and his COURT" touring 4-person softball team in the 1960's. Front Row, L-R: #18-unk; @11-Jay Hunter; #13-unk; #22-Fred ?; #15-Sgt Hicks. 2nd Row, L-R: #1-unk; #20-Doug Potts; unk, unk, unk. 3rd Row, L-R: unk, unk, unk, unk
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From: Michael Comroe <mfcomroe@onix.com>
Subject: Re: God Bless
ELDER: "GOD BLESS" THAT WAS FANTASIC!
[[The GOD BLESS e-mail came from that POLOCK in Louisville, KY- - -gH]]
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From: Roy Des Ruisseaux
Subject: Computer Woes
Elder: Three weeks ago while playing "computer technician" I fried my three month old computer that I had built and was very proud of. Anyhow I finally got something going, but the motherboard has two bad memory slots so I guess I'll have to dismantle again and start over. I just waded through 593 e-mails including the days of our lives and the survey. Sorry I wasn't able to comment. Glad to hear Phil Kelly came though with flying colors. I had a biopsy of the prostate a couple of years back it was negative. I do occasionally have some bladder problems and had a cystoscopy (or something like that) which is a scope up the front. Yeow!!! Just a few comments of the newsletters,
I tend to like hearing stories of things that happened when people were at Det 27, fock rock, etc. Most of what comes through is ok by me. Sometimes I scroll past the jokes pretty quick as my wife gets a bunch and I get them from other sources. Politics. I have strong views and a thick skin,15 years in DC. However I try to steer clear on this forum. It seems it can generate too much ill will. I'm not sure how the gay issue came up, I do remember 3 guys from Sinop passing through Det 27 on their way back to the States on a Sec. 8 or whatever it was and a couple of us were trying to decide if they were or weren't or just trying to get out. However; I don't see any purpose in pursuing it. Lets keep that closet door closed. I do always look at the new names mainly to see if there is anyone I know or at least someone from my era. Lastly I will put in a self serving plug for my very obscure website of Det 27 for the newbies who have joined our band of brothers.
http://216.33.148.250/cgi-bin/linkrd?_lang=EN&lah=539a345b62ce971fc257c6e2e7efcb44&lat=1013006393&hm___action=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2estormpages%2ecom%2frobo%2fnudet27%2ehtm
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From: Penny Teschker penelope@mwci.net>
Subject: Re Days Of Our Lives
HI, Please correct my husbands last name, it is Chuck Teschker-no L ! Thanks. I broke into his memory bank and came up with a few more names we haven't seen on your list yet. The cities are where he last remembers them being from in the 60's:
Bill Harris-Mn
Buck Simmons-Miss.
Dan Nass-went to work in Tunisia from Wisconsin
Vic Thedick-possibly Mn
Jim Spinney-Ipswich, Ma
Charlie Kobernus
Doug Stumbough
Norm Hagelstrom (Sweet Norm)-Mn.
Bob Brown (not the M.P.)
? Fitzgerald
Harold Probert
Charley Kinderman
P.S.-Please call me Penny I haven't been called Penelope since I was in school!
[[Penny called me on Saturday and I enjoyed the chat. She sounds just what one wud expect a pleasant Brit to sound like and she, rightfully so, is straight forward proud of her roots, but has now been Americanized and rooted in Michigan with six wonderful kids that they are very proud of. She was a NANNY in Ankara when she met Chuck TeschKer. We discussed many things and she volunteered to SEEK OUT the missing lot who were at Manzarali with Chuck. She explained that he is very interested in finding his OLD friends, but doesn't know too much about PC's. Chuck is retired fm GM, is, like me, 65 years young, retired, but still tinkering in construction work in his spare time.
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From: Jones, Ed ed.jones@escorp.com
To: 'ercgreen'
Sent: Monday, February 04, 2002 7:01 AM
Subject: RE: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #49 (The LOGO's)
I don't remember any TUSLOG Det. 27 Patch during the 60's. When is the Hotel and ASA reunion in Hershey Pa. going to be finalized. Thanks, EJ
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From: grichard2@juno.com
Subject: Bio and Pix's
Hi Elder...was just reading the last Days of Our Lives and enjoyed it very much... I have a question. Some time ago I sent my Bio and some (4) pictures. They didn't come back from space as not delivered so I'm assuming you got them. If not, let me know and I'll try to remember some of the stuff I said... I know you must receive a gazillion things on your computer each day. One other thing..I also responded to the Survey you sent out but didn't see my name on your tally of the questions. Maybe my stuff isn't getting to you..anyway let me know..Gary Richard
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From: Ddamanda69@aol.com
Subject: Your BS
I CAN,T BELIEVE IT YOU HAVE BEEN SO BUSY YOU HAVEN,T HAD TIME TO POKE AT THE KEYS , AND AFTER ALLLLLLLLLLLL THAT HOLLERING........
[[Remember above the clouds there's a bright blue sky --- and that I have many ups and downs,
Remember that it's true to say - One smile is worth a dozen frowns! I hope that the person who sent this isn't feeling down or losing sleep over my troubles and that troubles aren't being piled for [him]..... and that [he] SMILED when [he] typed the message. I don't have the foggiest who the HECK YOU ARE! But have a splendid idea!- - -gH]]
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From: Tom Bodine <tebodine@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #45
Elder and guys, Hereīs a little bit of memory for you guys who were at Det 27 in '65-'66 in response to all the remarks regarding our MPīs. Hey, they were good guys, and I especially recall making acquaintance with one young man, whose name I cannot now recall, who was from Old Shasta, California. Are you reading this, my man? I was so glad to meet someone from my neck of the woods (I grew up in extreme Northern CA. too). We never grew close, but always had a cordial greeting for one another.
But...
Seems like it was '65, but could have been '66, a bunch, and I mean a lot of our MPīs got busted for hashish. You recall that? There was an RU lingi by the name of "Slim", and I canīt remember his real name, who was definitely a doper, and who I understood at the time was intimately involved with the general drug bust that netted the MPīs. Old Slim was a strange guy. Of course I was plenty ignorant in 1965. I really didnīt have any idea who Bob Dylan was at that time, but it wasnīt too many years later that I realized that Slim was doing his best to imitate him, especially in his "Mr.
Tabourine Man" phase. Slim used to ride the site bus into Ankara sitting there in his beret, plunking his guitar and singing. The perfect beatnik image. But I didnīt recognize it being from so far out in the sticks at the tender young age of 18 or 19. At work, however, I have to say, I had the opportunity to work with Slim, and he was a good lingi, seemed to take his work seriously, but Iīd like to put emphasis on the word "seemed" because I just donīt know.
Anyone recall this episode?
Tom Bodine/US Embassy, Madrid/E5, 98C/Det 27,MY65-OC66
I believe that Tom was referring to this article:----From: robert nearpassMike Andronaco earlier wrote: "Anyone remember the MP with last name of CISCO who was practicing a quick draw at the PMO or guard shack and shot the place up. Other MP's that Mike remembers was SIMMERO, MAX MORRISON, Tony MOULTON and RUBIN. Oh, yes Bob Cisco quick drawing at the Main Gate and forget he put the clip back in his .45 and as I recall he paid for the round, 17 cents or something close to that, I last saw him in Viet Nam he was with an aviation company. As I recall Bob Cisco was from Toms River New Jersey and he longed to be a draftsman upon his discharge from the service
Simmaro is John Zimmaro, a great guy who was booted from ASA also saw him in Viet Nam, he was with 3 squadron, L troop 11th cav. Max Morrison remember him but have never seen him after I left Turkey.
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From: Roger Glubka
Subject: RE: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #49 (The Logo's)
Elder,
Since I'm in Korea for two years, how about I look into what those patches will cost on the economy here? I have already purchased Harley Davidson patches that cost an arm and leg at the Harley dealerships. I have an ASA patch which I was going to order a 100 and just ship to you (on me) as gratitude for your hard work. Again I won't get down to Dongdaemun Market until this coming weekend. But I'll let you know what they are going to charge me. This market is a commercial outlet and you get great deals when you buy in volume. I would need one patch each of what ever your trying to duplicate. But hold off until I get a quote.Talk to you later. Roger 'G"
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From: Tom Bodine <tebodine@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #45
How quickly we forget, eh?
IN response to VVV VVV CQ CQ DE MADDOG QSA IMI QSV K
This was very basic Morse procedure that I'm sure a lot of us still recall. It translates:
Hey, anyone out there, this is Maddog, howīs my read? Send me some v-s so I can tune you in.
Tom B.
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From: James B. Moore jbm@jbmoorecpa.com
Subject: New E-Mail Addresses
Hi Elder,
Yes, we are still out here; and, tax season is starting to heat up. In addition, we are phasing out the old e-mail address of jbmoorecpa@erols.com. You can reach us at the following addresses:
Jim is jbm@jbmoorecpa.com
Linda is lbm@jbmoorecpa.com
Thanks for updating your address list.
James B. Moore, CPA., Fairfax, VA., 1LT, Det 4-4, SE69-MR71
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From: Susan Jones
To: 'ercgreen@yourinter.net'
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2002 4:54 PM
Subject: REUNION IN PENSACOLA
Would Pensacola, Florida be a possible site for a future reunion? I am the Group Sales Manager for 2 hotels with conference facilities on Pensacola Beach. If you would be intestered in receiving information, please email you address.Thanks!!
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From: Garland Gibbs
Subject: More names.
Hi, Have a couple more for you......Rowe Propst CW2 (QMC) 66-68, Paul Sanders Maj. QMC, Boldway, Francis , Maj. AGC 66-67, Mitchell ? Cpt FINC 65-67, Mitchell ?, 1lt AIS, 66-67. Cpt Kristufek QMC 65-67 Ran the stock fund acount AM1128. Had a gorgeous blonde wife.sure wish I could remember her name.............Sorry to hear about Dr. Goretsky do you have a tel nr. I could contact him at? Thanks, Gary
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From: Edandlynn4@cs.com>
Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #48
In reference to Ted Midtaune note on Tim/Ted Nelson, I know the Tim Nelson that I played with on the post basketball team in 1962, went to Mankato St. where he ran track, and prior to getting to Det 27 in 1962 who won every race that he enter in where ever he was station prior to going to Turkey. Our starting line up had Ray Bigalow at one forward Tim Nelson at the other Timmy Neas and John O'brian at guards. Chuck Silvernail and I shared the starting center. Speaking of Tim and his running, once he lost the ball going in for a lay up. The man that stole the ball threw a long pass to his own breaking guard who was already over half court. Tim during this time broke down the side of the court turned on the after burners and blocked the breaking guards lay up on the other end of the court. You could see Tim running all over the base before running became what it is today. But I will say after forty years the mind does run off on its own and his name might have been Ted and not Tim but the last forty years its been Tim to me.
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From: Drew
Subject: Re: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #48/ bio
gH, Reading about Ralph Condry jarred me into getting a bio to you.
Ralph and I served toghter in the dispensary in the '64-65 time period. I arrived at Manzarali as a medic in Apr64 and left in Nov65. I was discharged from the Army in May 1966 so I know the dates for Ralph's time at Manzarali are not correct. Ralph was yet to become a full fledged pharmacist when here was at Site 23 , but none the less took time to teach me quite a bit about compounding and dispensing meds. After Ralph rotated back to the states I ended up working part of the time in the Pharmacy because of what Ralph taught me. I recall him as a good sized fellow who was good at what he did. He had a very solid understanding of pharmacy. I don't recall hanging out with him outside of work. I will say a special prayer tonight that Hospice will take good care of him and keep him pain free; that is Hospice's expertise is and I'm sure they will do a great job with Ralph.
I still recall mixing up " ETH with AC", elixir of terpin hydrate with codeine, the infamous GI cough medicine. That reminds me, we had a medical records clerk by the name of Murphy who had more than a passing acquaintance with ETH...he used it as a bit of the "hair of the dog" the morning after a heavy night at the EM club. Ralph also taught me how to mix up a cream for Athlete's Foot and jock itch.
The Pharmacy was also the source of absolute alcohol; not the famous vodka of today but a pure grain alcohol that was close to 190 proof. It came in clear glass half pint bottles with a federal stamp over the cap. It was used for compounding elixirs with an alcohol base. One night before an IG inspection we had a GI party at the dispensary where a half pint was signed out for medicinal use and ended up mixed with juice from the mess hall to get us through are tasks. The stuff left you dehydrated with a very bad hangover. I remember that happening only once.
Other medical people I recall were Chuck Ellis, fellow medic also on this list. Dr. Jacobitz (now a dermatologist in San Francisco), a Dr. Arat (Sp?) who I think is a cardiologist out East someplace. Mark Hamilton has a much better memory for names than I do. How about jumping in here Mark? S/Sgt Pixley was the NCOIC of the dispensary. Willie White was an Sp5 who taught me to suture even though he had the tips of two fingers missing from an accident. Willie was from the Washington DC area I think. Ralph McAllister was medic from Utah. Goody Goodrich was a lab tech who was rotated back early because of medical reasons. I don't remember Goody's first name. There are several photos on Mark Hamilton's web site of dispensary personnel, Mark worked in the dispensary as a medical records clerk before moving up to the Headquarters Building and S-4. I don't remember the name of the medical equipment repairman from Kentucky who could fix anything with a piece of gum and baling string.
I have rambled on long enough. The US Army and the ASA provided me with the education and self-esteem to continue school after discharge and enjoy a very rewarding career in medicine as a Physician Assistant.
Peace, Drew Robinson, former medic Site 23 Apr64-Nov65
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To: ercgreen
Sent: Friday, February 01, 2002 11:17 PM
From: Bill Hartranft
Subject: Re: Do U owe me something?
I read one of your last notes and read frustration about a lack of feedback. Being Catholic, part Irish and riddled with guilt, I had to see if I owed you some sort of feedback.
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From: Robert Dandridge <bobbyd4@mindspring.com>
Subject: Fw: THIS ONE WARMED OUR HEARTS.....
Shortly after President Bush took office, an old man approached the White House. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same U.S. Marine standing guard, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine again told the man, "Sir, Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here." The man said, "Okay" and walked away.
The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the same U.S. Marine standing guard, "I would like to go in and meet with President Clinton."
The marine, a little agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Clinton and I have told you already that Mr. Clinton is no longer president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"
The old man looked at the U.S. Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The marine guard smiled and said, "See you tomorrow!"
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OLD GEEZERS
"Geezers" (slang for an old man) are easy to spot:
At sporting events, during the playing of the National Anthem, Old Geezers hold their caps over
their hearts and sing without embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.
Old Geezers remember World War I, the Depression, World War II, Pearl Harbor,Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler.
They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War, the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam.
If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk, he will apologize. If you pass an Old Geezer on the street, he will nod or tip his cap to a lady.
Old Geezers trust strangers and are courtly to women.
Old Geezers hold the door for the next person and always, when walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.
Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women and children and they don't like
violence and filth on TV or in movies.
Old Geezers have moral courage. They seldom brag unless it's about their grandchildren.
It's the Old Geezers who know our great country is protected, not by politicians or police, but by the young men and women in the military serving their country.
This country needs Old Geezers with their decent values. We need them now more than ever.
Thank God for Old Geezers!
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From: Gene Cram
THESE ARE TAKEN FROM REAL RESUMES AND COVER LETTERS AND WERE PRINTED IN
"FORTUNE" MAGAZINE
1. "I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."
3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
9. "You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time."
10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
12. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs.... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
15. "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing."
16. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."
20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
21. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I've never quit a job."
22. "Marital status: often. Children: various."
23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
24. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
25. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."
26. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
THESE QUOTES WERE TAKEN FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
11. "This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."
THESE ARE ACTUAL LINES FROM MILITARY PERFORMANCE APPRAISALS OR O.E.R.s
(OFFICER EFFICIENCY REPORTS)
1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
3. A room temperature IQ.
4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
7. A prime candidate for natural deselection. Bright as Alaska in December.
8. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
9. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
10. Fell out of the family tree.
11. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
12. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
13. He's so dense, light bends around him.
14. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
15. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
16. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
17. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
18. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
19. One neuron short of a synapse.
20. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
21. Takes him 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
22. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
________________________________________________________________________________
From: Gene Cram
XThought you guys might like this!
A construction boss in Calif. was interviewing men when along came a guy named Vinny from New York. "I'm not hiring any wise-ass New Yorker," the foreman thought, so he made up a test hoping that Vinny wouldn't be able to answer the questions, and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute.
"Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Widout numbiz?" Vinny says. "Dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw 3 trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
The New Yorker replies, "Ain't you got no brains? Tree 'n Tree 'n Tree makes nine. Faghedaboutit..."
"Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question.
Use the same rules, but this time use the number 99."
Vinny stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has drawn and makes a
smudge on each tree. "Dare ya go, Buddy."
The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
Vinny says "Each a da tree's is dirty now! So it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree'n dirty tree-dat's
99."
The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the New Yorker, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100."
Vinny stares into space again, then picks up the picture once again, makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ya go, Mac, a hunnert."
The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts if you think that represents 100!"
New York Vinny leans forward and points to the marks at the base of the trees. "A little doggie comes along and takes a shit on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an'
a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an'a turd - which makes one hundred. Bada boom , bada bing. When do I freakin' start?"
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