DAYS OF OUR LIVES #42
Thu, 17 Jan 2002

TAPS

Samuel Puterbaugh, W1, Det 27, 63-64. There are two Puterbaugh's listed in the SSDI: Sam'l W., b-30 Oct 1911 d-26 Mar 1993 or Sam'l L., b-25 Sep 1910 d-14 Feb 1988. The Puterbaugh that was at Det 27 was a robust 280 bruiser who was on the US Olympic Team in Athens, Greece. Steve MacMartan knew him and will let us know what he knew about Sam Puterbaugh- - -gH -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cover on the 1965 MSC Flag Football Championship is the attachment courtesy of Rob Nearpass. I've found out that the Manzarali Football teams won the MSC Championships in 63, 64 and 65. Is it possible that they won more? I'm wondering how the 1960 thru 62 teams did in the championship tournaments. Anyone REMEMBER? Please inform. How about 1966? In 1967 the post was already downsized and Det 4 took over as the ASA leader in TURKEY. Det 27was alwaysunder the mission control of Bad Aibling, Germany. Bad Aibling was USM-46 and Det 27 was USM-46M as I re-call ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fm: Ray Crist Rcrist3388@aol.com While at Det 27 I was a electronic equipment repairman assigned to project Sugartree operating in Room 5 of the OPS building. I spent time in both Co A and HQ Co while there; when the station was closed I was sent TDY to Det 4 to set up the Sugartree operation there prior to return to the US. My last tour was in Vietnam as a mission gear rerpairman for U21 type aircraft operating our of Da Nang. That got a flying bug started and after discharge I continued to school and became a commerical pilot. Since the military I have worked as a co-pilot for a freight line in Cleveland OH, then a ferry pilot for Globe Aero in Lock Haven, PA (moving aircraft all over the country), I then went to work for Piper Aircarft in Lock Haven, PA as a product specialist electronics, working on autopilots, etc.; I then was Piper's electronic flight test pilot for about 4 years and moved on to become a regional service manager for the Northeast section of the country for them. I was with Piper for nearly 18 years including a move to Vero Beach FL; I received a call from Textron Lycoming (manufacturers of aircraft engines) in 1990 to come work for them as the Northeast Sales Manager, and since my wife did not like FL at all (way too hot) we moved back to PA. I have been with Lycoming now for nearly 13 years and have held the Regional Managers job for 3 years; Customer Service Manager for 7 years and am currently the Distributor sales manager for North America. I live in Jersey Shore with my wife of 26 years Genie; we have no children but have 2 Sierian Huskys; 1 horse and 13 cats. I hope this has not rambled on for too long, and I apologize for the delay in getting it to you. I hope your holiday season went well. Ray Crist/33C/Det 27 (570) 398-7218 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fm: Lanny Couvillon Subj: Re: 1964 Manzarali Flag Football Championship team courtesy of Joe Carvalho Somewhere--I have a photo of 1963 team which went undefeated. There were a couple of guys that played on both teams-- I will scan and forward when I locate. LC

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From: Philip W. Kelly To: ercgreen Sent: Monday, January 14, 2002 8:10 AM Subject: Re: Turkey Alumnus Survey Greenie,

Here's your survey back. I wish I could elaborate some more, but I am on my way to City of Hope to have my prostate removed. Phil Kelly -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fm: John Kettenring, Jpkett@aol.com Subj: Re: Det 27, 4-4, 17, 53, 120 and 66 reunion group Elder, Thanks for your contact. I have been in touch with Tony Salinger and looking forward to meeting up with him soon as we are close by. Jon Kettenring/Summit, NJ/1LT/Det27, 63-64 [[WELCOME ABOARD. We'll all be looking forward to reading about your TOUR of DUTY with the ASA and especially about your duty assignment at Manzarali and all the memories that went with the assignment.- - -gH]] -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Had a short phone conversation with John A. Buttrick who was a 72B and worked in the C/C at Det 27 -all of 1967-MR68. John is 54 - married to Mary Ann and was an attorney for 25 years in the Phoenix area. Now he is a Superior Court Judge for Maricopa County, AZ. I sent him the roster and several back issues of "DAYS OF OUR LIVES" and hope to hear back from him soon.His email is buttrick@superiorcourt.maricopa.gov. - - -gH ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From: Tom Fittante Subj: DAYS OF OUR LIVES #40 (47 NEW e-MAIL MEMBERS) E.GREEN I JUST NOTICED THAT ON THE ABOVE LIST OF NEW e-MAIL MEMBERS THAT MY e-MAIL ADDRESS IS WRONG. IT SHOULD BE neftom@raex.com (you have ton instead of tom) JUST THOUGHT I WOULD BRING THIS TO YOUR ATTENTION. SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET BACK TO YOU WITH SOME IN PUT FROM MY DAYS AT DET. 27, BEEN BUSY WITH THE HOLIDAYS, FAMILY AND DFWORK. TOM Fittante/Waterford,OH/98G/Det27, JL61-29JA63 [[SORRY. For those up-0dating their roster - please make the change]] From: Dumbo Elder, I see you and the guys like some of the jokes I have been sending. Will continue to do so. I have also been sending some political stuff to give you at least some insight into the crap that goes on down this way. If you looked at the Congressional web site I sent you on the Intelligence Community you would see some real sick stuff. Things we would never have tolerated when you and I served. That is one of the main reasons I retired. Anyway, if I am sending you stuff you would rather not see,let me know and I stop. Otherwise, I'll send things that I think you (and others) may like. Bill Binney/Severn, MD/SP5/98C/Det 27, 65-67 [Bill - -KEEP EM A CUMIN. I read them and agree with your views; However, some of them I don't fwd because some might get up-set over the content, but that's okay too. U been up around Reynoldsville lately? When U are, please drive on down to Indiana, PA. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Dumbo Subj: The old Soldier An old soldier was celebrating 82 years on this earth. He spoke to his toes. "Hello toes!" he said, "how are you, toes? You know, you are 82 today. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we walked in the park in summer every Sunday afternoon? The times we waltzed on the dance floor? Happy birthday, toes!" "Hello knees", he continued. "How are you, knees? You know you`re 82 today. Oh, the times we've had! Remember when we marched in the parade? Oh, the hurdles we've jumped together. Happy birthday, knees!" Then, he looked down at his crotch. "Hello Willy! If you were alive today, you`d be 82 years old!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You Know You're A Redneck When...

You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

You burn your yard rather than mow it.

You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.

The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

Your family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a lovedone.

You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.

You took a fishing pole to Sea World.

You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during every Christmasdinner.

Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on theside.

The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

You thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.

You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.

Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings youhome.

A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.

You've used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You've asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"

You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.

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Fm: Tom Bodine tebodine@hotmail.com Subj: Up-date of my Det 27 & 4-4 MASTER ROSTER Elder, Here is the corrected entry.

BODINE, Thos E E5 98C Det 27, MY65-OC66, US Embassy Madrid, PSC 61 DCSG Box 10, APO AE 09642, tebodine@hotmail.com Career in army as 98C and 98G (RU)

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From: Tom Beall To: innfo@stayholiday.com Cc: Elder Green Sent: Monday, January 14, 2002 6:20 PM Subject: Fw: Det 27, 4-4 & 66 Reservation Request

I have not received confirmation of my reservation request sent to you on 12/24/01 as listed below. Please make my reservation as requested and notify me via email. Thank you. ----- Original Message ----- From: Tom Beall To: innfo@stayholiday.com Cc: Elder Green Subject: Det 27, 4-4 & 66 Reservation Request I will be attending the ASA reunion and request that a non-smoking room be reserved for me and my wife for 13-15 September 2002 at $79 per day per agreement with Elder RC Green and Donna Centofanti. Please confirm my reservation by return E-mail. Thank you. Thomas Beall 6670 Heisley Rd. Mentor, OH 44060 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Fm: Hagan, Rocky A (FL51) rocky.hagan@honeywell.com Subj: Turkish bread Turk Ekmegi (Rustic Turkish Bread)

makes 2 oval loaves Rolland Rimar mailto:RIMARRCJ@zianet.com

This is a long process, when one day I decide to purchase a bread maker, I will try to adapt it for the bread maker. Sourdough starter:

1-1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, sifted

3/4 cup lukewarm water (75 to 80 deg F)

Dough:

1 Tbs plus two tsp active dry or moist fresh yeast (crumbled)

1 tsp sugar

1/2 cup warm water (approx 110 deg F.)

6 cups unbleached all purpose flour, sifted, plus extra for dusting

2 cups lukewarm water (70 deg F.) divided

1 Tsp salt

Cornmeal for dusting

To make the starter, place 1/2 cup of flour and 1/4 cup lukewarm water in a container. Stir the mixture well, cover and let sit at room temperature (between 70 and 75 deg F) overnight.

The next day, add 1/2 cup of flour and 1/4 cup of the water to a container,

mix well, cover, and let it sit at room temperature overnight.

Repeat one more time.

On the fourth day, the starter is ready to use, it can be stored in the

refrigerator for up to 4 days.

When you are ready to make the bread, let it sit at room temperature atleast 2 hrs before you need it.

To make the bread, place the yeast, sugar, and 1/2 cup warm water in a small bowl. Stir until the yeast has dissolved and let it stand in a warm place for about 10 minutes, until it's frothy.

Place the yeast mixture into a large bowl, stir in the flour and thesourdough starter in small pieces.

Add the 2 cups of lukewarm water and mix well.

Dust your fingers with flour.

Place the dough on a cool, lightly floured surface (preferably marble), and knead it about 7 to 8 minutes.

Flatten out the dough and sprinkle on the salt.

Fold the dough in half and knead for 2 more minutes, until it is smooth and satiny and springs back when touched.

If it is still sticky, add a little more flour and knead for one more minute.

Place the dough on a lightly floured work surface.

Sprinkle a little flour over dough, cover it with a cloth, and let it rest in a warm place (about 80 to 85 degree F.) for 2 to 2-1/2 hours, until it doubles in size.

Put the dough back onto a lightly floured work surface and punch out the air.

Divide the dough in half and knead each piece for 2 to 3 minutes, shape each

piece into a tight oval loaf.

Sprinkle flour on the loaves, cover with a cloth, and let them rest in a warm place 4 inches apart for 30 to 45 minutes, or until the double in size.

Preheat the oven to 425 degree F and place a pizza stone or quarry tile on the middle rack of the oven.

To give the bread a nice crust, place 2 cups of boiling water in each of two deep baking pans and place them on each side of the oven bottom about 20 minutes before baking the loaves. or, you can mist some cold water into the oven during the first 15 minutes of baking at five minutes intervals using a spray bottle (about 4 or 5 sprays each time).

Sprinkle a baker's peel with cormeal.

Gently place the risen loaves one at a time onto the peel.

Using a single edge razor blade or the tip of a small, very sharp knife, make a few 1/2-inch deep slashes on top of each loaf.

Gently slide or place the loaves onto the pizza stone and bake for 40 minutes.

To check the loaves for doneness, tap the bottoms with your fingertip and if they don't sound hollow, bake them for 5 more minutes.

When done, remove the loaves from the oven and set them on a wire rack to cool before slicing.

Personally I like to eat it just out of the oven hot, with butter and white feta cheese (beyaz peynir).

Afiyet olsun (to your health)

(bon appetit)

I know other Turkish recipes so just send me an email for more info.

Take care. Rolland...

Have a great day.Rocky Hagan/Dunedin, FL/Det 4-4, 68-71
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Good Old American Management

The American and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance.

On the big day they felt ready.

The Japanese won by a mile.

Afterward, the American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management

decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found, so a consulting firm was hired to

investigate the problem and recommend corrective action.

The consultant's finding: The Japanese team had eight people rowing and one person steering. The

American team had one person rowing and eight people steering.

After a year of study and millions spent analyzing the problem, the consulting firm concluded that

too many people were steering and not enough were rowing on the American team.

So as race day neared again the following year, the American team's management structure was

completely reorganized. The new structure: Four steering managers, three area steering managers,

and a new performance review system for the person rowing the boat to provide work incentive.

In the next race, the Japanese won by TWO miles!

Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower for poor performance and gave the managers a bonus for discovering the problem.

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From: Dumbo lstupid1@starpower.net Subj: ADVICE...If your wallet is stolen

Good advice from a retired attorney should your wallet or important card youcarry in your wallet is stolen:

GOOD ADVICE

Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides of each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you hadin your wallet and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel. Keep the photocopy in a safe place.

A corporate attorney sent this out to the employees in his company. I pass it along, for your information.

We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed us in your name, address, SS#, credit, etc. Unfortunately I (the author of this piece who happens to be an attorney) have firsthand know-ledge, because my wallet was stolen last month and within a week the thieve(s) ordered an expensive monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a credit line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from DMV to change my driving record info online, and more.

But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this happens to you or someone you know. As everyone always advises, cancel your credit cards immediately, but the key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you know whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily. File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was stolen, this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never ever thought to do this) Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to place a fraud alert on your name and SS#. I had never heard of doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an application for credit was made over the Internet in my name. The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your

information was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new credit. By the time I was advised to do this, almost 2 weeks after the theft, all the damage had been done.

There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves' purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since then, no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet away this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in their tracks.

The numbers are:
Equifax: 1-800-525-6285
Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742
Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289
Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271
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OLD GEEZERS

"Geezers" -- slang for an old man -- are easy to spot:

At sporting events, during the playing of the National Anthem,

Old Geezers hold their caps over their hearts and sing without

embarrassment. They know the words and believe in them.

Old Geezers remember World War I, the Depression,

World War II, Pearl Harbor, Guadalcanal, Normandy and Hitler.

They remember the Atomic Age, the Korean War, The Cold War,

the Jet Age and the Moon Landing, not to mention Vietnam.

If you bump into an Old Geezer on the sidewalk, he will apologize,

and if you pass an Old Geezer on the street, he will nod or tip his

cap to a lady.

Old Geezers trust strangers and are courtly to women.

Old Geezers hold the door for the next person and always, when

walking, make certain the lady is on the inside for protection.

Old Geezers get embarrassed if someone curses in front of women

and children and they don't like violence and filth on TV or in movies.

Old Geezers have moral courage. They seldom brag unless it's

about their grandchildren.

It's the Old Geezers who know the young men and women in the

military serving their country protect our great country, not the

politicians or police.

This country needs Old Geezers with their decent values.

We need them now more than ever.

Thank God for Old Geezers!

Are YOU an Old Geezer?

Pass this on to all the Old Geezers you know ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Great to be a Man because...

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend fromgetting laid.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rats ass if someone noticesyour new haircut.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

You can open all your own jars.

You never have to drive to another gas stationbecause this ones just too icky.

Same work...more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood, ALL the damn time!

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, December 24th, in 45 minutes.

The world is your urinal ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fm: Dumbo lstupid1@starpower.net Subject: With justice for none Washington Times-January 8, 2002

With justice for none

By Bill O'Reilly

There is something very wrong inside the Justice Department of the United States, and there has been for some time. Various newspapers are now reporting that under President Clinton, the Federal Bureau of Investigation was ordered to stand down on various terrorist investigations.

One of the most egregious examples is the failure of the bureau to investigate fund-raising organizations like "The Holy Land Fund," based in Arizona, which allegedly funneled millions of dollars in donations to Middle Eastern terrorists. Although the Bush administration has now frozen the assets of the fund, it was apparently allowed to operate for eight years, despite the FBI intelligence that was presented to Mr. Clinton and then-Attorney General Janet Reno. One bureau source told the press that Miss Reno felt any investigation of "The Holy Land Fund" would lead to anti-Arab sentiment and therefore was opposed to such an investigation. As always, Miss Reno will not comment on any aspect of her tenure as attorney general that is at all controversial.

There is no question now that, under Miss Reno and then-FBI Director Louis Freeh, Americans were put at great risk. The Wen Ho Lee-Chinese espionage case still has not been explained, and the fact that the 19 terrorists in the September 11 attacks weren't even on the FBI's radar screen is about as frightening as Janet Reno's passion for political correctness.

The current attorney general, John Ashcroft, has made no attempt to examine Miss Reno's bizarre behavior, update the public about the Marc Rich investigation or anything else. Mr. Ashcroft specializes in looking dour and stonewalling. While Congress is attempting to get documents about President Clinton's dubious foreign fund raising and FBI abuses in Boston, Mr. Ashcroft is refusing to cooperate at all.

And this isn't a political issue. Conservative Rep. Dan Burton, Indiana Republican, and liberal Rep. Barney Frank, Massachusetts Democrat, have actually joined forces to try and pry this information

from Mr. Ashcroft's hands. If that's not amazing, then nothing is. The truth is that for nearly eight years, the Justice Department has been corrupt and inefficient. Janet Reno botched nearly every important decision she had to make, including Waco and Elian Gonzalez. Time after time, Miss Reno refused to approve investigative initiatives sought by the FBI. And time after time, Mr. Freeh sat in his plush government office refusing to let the American people know what was happening.

Now Mr. Ashcroft is doing the same thing. There is no reason on this Earth why the public should not know the status of the Rich pardon probe. Or the anthrax investigation. And what about Enron, Mr. Attorney General, are you going to look into that? Millions of Americans were taken for a ride while some Enron executives made millions.

How about a comment on that, Mr. Ashcroft?

For far too long the attorney general and his band of political appointees have held themselves above public accountability. How many times have we heard the phrase: "We're not allowed to comment, the case is under investigation"?

That, of course, is one big lie. The attorney general can legally comment on anything but grand jury testimony.

Janet Reno hightailed it out of Washington without clearing up a single controversy. Now she rides around in her truck asking the people of Florida to elect her governor. Hey, good choice, if you love fascism. Miss Reno is the kind of public servant who makes decisions and feels no need to explain them. The Third Reich would have loved her.

The tragedy of the Justice Department is our fault. We Americans simply will not pay attention to the corruption of this very important part of our government even after September 11. We allow the stonewalling, the political correctness and the incompetence.

And it's just a matter of time before we pay the price for ourapathy again.

Bill O'Reilly is a nationally syndicated columnist. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fm: Clark L Bryan mix1bryan3@juno.com Subject: Gimme a DEW? Pfizer Corp. (NYSE PFE) is making the announcement today that VIAGRAwillsoon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola(PepsiBottling Group NYSE PBG) as a power beverage suitable for use as-is, orasa mixer, under the name "Mount 'n Do".

Pepsi's proposed ad campaign suggests: "It will now be possible for a manto literally pour himself a stiff one."

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The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treat-ment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00AM".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed....it said... It is 5:00AM, wake up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Little Johnny had a cussing problem, and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said, "Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what

he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests." Two days before Christmas, Johnny's father asked Johnny what he wanted for Christmas. "I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake-up. When I go downstairs, I want to see a

damn train going around the damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the damn garage." Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a pile of dog poop. Confused, he walked down stairs and saw another pile under the tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog poop by the garage. When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his face, his dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?" Johnny replied, "I think I got a dog but I can't find the son-of-a-bitch!"

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